Tell me one thing in life that brings you joy that doesn't cost you something. When I think of my life and the joy in my life I think of my marriage, my daughter, the joy that comes with a family camping trip, even the joy of a new puppy brings incredible cost, I have the scars to prove it. I also know from experience you can't have one without the other.
It's no different in the kingdom of God, to many times we keep the truth of God's kingdom and real life on two totally different planes. Jesus said "the kingdom of Heaven is at hand". It's within us, it's in real life, Jesus died on a cross made out of wood not some sort of mental picture of an abstract cross. His pain was real and His joy was real.
In the kingdom of God there is a price to pay for joy, oh I know we try to mentally grasp some sort of theological joy as we ascend to an academic intangible place that doesn't exist, but this is not what Jesus is talking about.
The joy of the lord is found when we are joined with the Lord, laying down our lives, responding to his call of "come and die". Destiny awaits us if we are willing to respond, true fellowship and unity awaits us if we are willing to lay our lives down together for the gospel. Now is the time to shine, now is the time to advance, if we won't break through that thin veil of intimidation and self love now, how will we ever.